My Sadness that I've Never Felt Before

Do you know why im using that title?

I guess, NOT.

Okay, i'll tell y'all about my sadness. i have a problem. IT SUCKS! It's about my friend's big mouth. I actually dont want to make him as my friend. He's too wicked in my eyes. He's talking to his friends about MY BAD behind me! It really hurted myself! WTH! i dunno how to solve it! i've already said sorry to him if ive any fault/ mistake to him. but, ive already realized if he doesnt like me. or we can say, if he hates me.

I honestly dont want to have any enemy, whatever it takes! but, he started first. He hurted me step by step with his words. FUCK! but, i dunno why, i cant hate him back!

I just wrote these notes while ive felt hurted of his fuckin' words:

"Fuck, Shit, Asshole, Damn, WTH, WTF!

I honestly want to say these bad words in front of your face!!!

But, why i cant?!

I feel if there's always an angel besides me to stop my bad words!"

"What a damn day!

Now, im so lazy to talk to anyone here. They're ANNOYING. I hate people when they just want to talk to me if they need my help or if they just want to borrow my stuffs like: tissue, bolpoint, pencil, ruler, eraser, and many more. They're always talking about me behind me! It Sucks! Fuck!

I actually dont hate people whom always talk about me behind me. But, i just feel a lil bit hurt of their bad habits. They talked about me on my back! they dont talk to me in front of my face!

I just want them to talk to me in front of my face without bring anyone to know the problem. A lot of people here arent friendly as i think.

I dont like to stay here for the longer time. Why? because there's someone who hates me the most. I know who he is. I honestly want to give my middle finger to him. Oh badly, i cant! i just remember GOD's wonderful words to love enemies. That's why i cant do that."

"I honestly want to hit and kick you till you die. But, i have to forgive you. It's hard to me! But, i have to do that. GOD, help me please."

"you hurted me by ur f*ck words. I wouldnt hurt you. Because GOD told me to love enemies."

"Seems like i want to give my middle finger to you."

Those notes based deep down from my heart. I really felt hurted of their bad words to me. Sometimes, im sad if i have to remember their bad words on my mind. i dunno why i cant forget their bad words. PRAYER is the only key that i can do EVERYDAY if im sad. I cant hate people whom hate me. Because i dont want to make any sin. Im a follower of Jesus. im happy to have Jesus in my life. Why? because HE is my BIGGEST supporter in my life. i dont care if people want to hate me or not, but the only thing that you've to remember is JESUS never leave me alone, because HE LOVES ME, HIS CHILD :) ♥